November 26, 2022
Physical and Mental Health

How to Deal with Positive Toxicity in your Life

While some have found the trend toward “toxic positivity” to be helpful over the past decade, others have chosen to ignore it. In this piece, we’ll examine how to deal with overly encouraging comments and feedback while networking and looking for work.

What does it mean when someone is a “Toxic Positive?”

Toxic positivity manifests itself in a variety of ways, such as passive-aggressive remarks and malicious rumors. Many people are vulnerable to taking criticism personally, even if they have nothing to defend. One of the best ways to avoid being taken advantage of is to learn to recognize and avoid toxic people and situations. If you find that toxic positivity isn’t helping you, it may be time to evaluate whether or not other factors, such as pessimism, are at play. Keep in mind that some of the negative online behaviors we observe are the direct result of negligent parenting; speaking up is always a good idea.

Taking Good Care of Oneself and Why It’s Crucial

Take care of yourself first and foremost; remember that “health is wealth”! No matter how much you care about doing good for others, it’s important to take care of yourself first. Being a jack-of-all-trades all the time is not required. Treat yourself kindly right now, tomorrow, and forever more. If you want to start your day off on the right foot, even if it seems impossible right now, learn how to put your emotional well-being first by setting some concrete goals to work toward. You can improve your long-term sense of self-worth by prioritizing self-care. What seems like a minor problem at first glance can quickly grow into a significant source of tension and unhappiness.

How is it possible to respond negatively to constructive criticism or feedback?

Asking oneself the following questions can help one determine whether or not an item is harmful to one’s health.

First, does it seem like this person is making assumptions in their response?

Do they have an unrealistically high standard by which they evaluate their performance?

What is their reaction to criticism? Do they get defensive?

Is there something we don’t understand? For instance, do you have an inflated sense of your superiority?

When they are reprimanded, how do they react?

Do they get angry when they feel people are judging them incorrectly?

Are you worried about the state of affairs?

Is there anything the person is experiencing that relates to the topic at hand? What they say in private may not matter if it’s a family member involved, so make the most of the opportunity to advocate for the cause in a more public forum.

Does anyone in the group think the person in question takes criticism too personally? When the other person says something to which they strongly object, they may become enraged. When debating contentious issues, it is wise to get the perspective of someone who disagrees with one’s own.

Outside of work and school, what other pursuits did this person pursue? Maybe he started smoking during the lockdown because he was bored, or maybe he started going out for drinks with his friends because he couldn’t afford to stay in all day. This may indicate that he is dissatisfied with his current lifestyle and is looking to make some adjustments. It could also mean that he is unhappy with his current situation and is looking for a way to make changes or find assistance.

Did you know that this person had recently been through a trying time? Experiencing financial hardship or experiencing domestic violence are examples of such common occurrences. They may feel overwhelmed by the many demands on their time and energy, leading to feelings of sadness or guilt and then depression and anxiety. Hearing that someone cares enough to stop what they’re doing to listen can be a huge relief during times of crisis.

Is there ever anything you did that made you feel bad about yourself? This occurs frequently when they are shown to be unfairly treating themselves or others as a result of their past. So it’s a great idea to put them on the spot and make them think about their actions if you want them to realize that what happened could happen again. Even if we don’t realize it at the time, our negative reactions become ingrained in us and take on characteristics as we interact with them daily. A person’s negative thought pattern can quickly become automatic, leading to predictable behavior. In other words, they won’t be able to put it off forever, and they’ll end up procrastinating instead of getting things done and meeting deadlines. Undisciplined pessimism can cause a lot of harm; worrying about something that might never happen is counterproductive. You can drastically reduce the number of times you need negative feedback about yourself if you spend some time every day focusing on the positive rather than the negative aspects of your life.

Understanding the Sources of Personal Harm and How to Eliminate Them

First, you need to figure out what’s causing it so you can prevent it from happening again. It takes time and effort to change, but you can start to see how negative thought patterns emerge when you pay attention to repeating scenarios in which you interact with particular people, like the ones listed above. Try picking up on the linguistic, communicative, and value differences among the people you come into contact with. When you have this knowledge, you’ll be able to concentrate on removing all of the “toxic positivity” from your life.

Second, understand that it is possible to lessen the effect without eliminating it. The harmful effects of toxic positivity can be mitigated in a variety of ways. You can do this in several ways, including keeping a diary of your daily activities so you can spot patterns before they become apparent, avoiding gossip while keeping in touch with people you genuinely care about, giving constructive feedback rather than negatively phrased negative comments, and learning to express your emotions healthily. Don’t assume you’ve mastered every subject.

3. If a friend or coworker complains about something bothering them, you shouldn’t hold it against them. When they bring it up again, instead of taking offense, think about why they are being so negative.

4. Leave a negative comment below a positive one instead of adding more. It doesn’t even have to be about their work or relationships to be harmful. Consider the context, the person’s intentions, and the circumstances under which a negative interaction occurred, even if the conversation’s overall tone was upbeat.

5. Realize that the opinions of others may be more shaped by their upbringing and background than by their actual personality or character. It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that every person has a different history and, by extension, a different outlook on life. People from lower socioeconomic backgrounds are often confused because they have less education and fewer opportunities than those from higher socioeconomic backgrounds. Your thoughts will be discounted due to your lack of experience or relevant context.

6. Resist the urge to defend yourself or dwell on the worst-case scenario. Being defensive when you’re being criticized can cause resentment and tension in your relationships. Maintain objectivity, openness, and acceptance of feedback from others, and be willing to be corrected as necessary.

7. Gratitude for the present is essential. If you find that you are feeling better, acknowledge this improvement and express gratitude. Paying close attention to the finer points of a situation is essential because many things in life go unnoticed. Accept that striving for perfection can lower your self-esteem. Although, some may aim for it, I think most of us fall short of our expectations. We set impossible standards for ourselves because we anticipate flawless performance while feeling intense pressure to achieve.

8. Describe your sense of self-worth and the values you uphold. Instead of brushing off the feedback of someone close to you, try to learn and improve from it.

9. Show your appreciation even for the smallest of accomplishments. Stop looking at other people and instead focus on making yourself happy and fulfilled.

10. For up-to-date life guidance, peruse books on psychology and happiness. My mood and self-assurance have been bolstered by reading inspirational sayings. Reading recent news articles is another effective strategy for keeping abreast of unfolding events. Don’t hesitate to ask for assistance.

11. It’s not always easy to keep a smile on your face and your confidence high in trying times, but making the effort to reach out for assistance can do just that. Even if you haven’t asked for it, many people will still give it to you if they can. Engage in the services of a personal coach or mentor to help you refine specific facets of your life. As difficult as it can be to face the unknown, I think it’s especially helpful to have an outside source of encouragement. Telling the truth to new people can help you assess your position and identify avenues for professional and personal growth. If you struggle to maintain a consistent practice, you might benefit from seeking out a coach or mentor through dedicated platforms like LinkedIn or coaching directory websites. Spend some time doing things you enjoy.

12. People often assume that they need to be constantly on the go and juggling a million different things to achieve success, but this is not the case. It’s important to take time out of your day to do things that make you happy and fulfill you, no matter what they are.

By Mehreen Bano

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