Parents today need to think about whether they are nurturing or whether they have more liberty and control over their kids. Dr. Richard Gardner, a researcher at North-western University in Chicago, Illinois, gave the presentation for this conversation.
Dr. Gardner started his career as an assistant professor of psychology at Indiana State University after studying parenting methods in high school. But the psychologist has spent close to 30 years teaching, including working with teenagers. Gardner contends that parents who are responsible and educated should be able to have children, but that it is not completely their responsibility if they are unable to do so. Some households favour dictatorial parenting. Many people mistakenly believe that this technique only has a minor impact on a tiny percentage of children due to authoritarianism. Some problems with authoritative and permissive styles are brought out by Gardner.
If there are usually strict regulations for living, the family can fall into this type. By watching their parents follow these guidelines, the kids learn to do the same, and when they do, they are praised. The one who commands comes from a position of power. Traditional authoritarianism is the term used to describe this style of parenting, since the parents control what their children do. These kids might be disciplined just as severely as a kid from a loving environment. These kids will most likely be submissive and not argue with you. They might enjoy being outside. The person who trains them to climb trees must be in charge if they venture outside. Children must understand that while there will be consequences for their activities, not all of them will be bad. Parents have the option of complimenting their kids for a job well done or making fun of them. There is no set list of sanctions, so parents must exercise discretion in how they apply them. In general, they ought to be courteous to one another and fair to all kids. Before letting the kids outside, it might be beneficial to let them practise saying “please” and “thank you.”
A long list of things to do to keep up with the kids is typically part of the actions and behaviours of an authoritarian parent. Keeping the peace is a significant part of it, but that doesn’t imply it’s impossible to alter your behavior. It’s crucial to comprehend and respect boundaries because any attempt to disobey your child could result in serious consequences. Without detailed daily instructions, kids would learn more effectively. The ideal learning environment is carefully crafted by authoritative parents. Children might become naughty, for instance, if their mother’s strictness is too much for them. Making sure they have enough room and time to make mistakes so they may learn from their experiences rather than just doing everything right away would be one strategy to combat this. Your kids will learn how to do things correctly and grow less rebellious if you don’t punish them. These parents may prioritise keeping the peace above all else, but they should still give their children space to breathe.
Another popular strategy for parenting children of all ages is to encourage them to act on their desires. With little guidance, these people get along with others fairly well. We sometimes believe that there are two kinds of parents. The most in-charge parents are the ones who have a propensity for harmony and cooperation. People who practise permissive parenting get along well and act in ways that delight them without following any specific restrictions. These parents are referred to as emotionally distant sorts.
As Gardner notes, this method of parenting is recommended when a parent is aware that the severity of a child’s punishment depends on the circumstances.
Everyone is given the freedom to behave however they like when there are no defined regulations. Although lack of approachability is frequently related to emotional availability, it can also feature politeness and patience to resolve issues peacefully. You can expect your parents to be available to assist you if you ever need it. People who grow up in these conditions usually put forth more effort and maintain their attention. The fact that the parents of both types of families may follow different pathways increases the gap between the approaches. The initial choice is not necessarily the incorrect one, despite this. Instead, it suggests that success can come from striking a good balance between the two.
There are few options available to someone who wants to adopt a child from a dysfunctional home. The potential families may be questioned by adoption agencies about their background and expectations. Using that information, they can determine whether a child can cope with living in a dysfunctional household.
The adoptive parents should be equipped with support networks and training to achieve long-term benefits.
Adopting a child is never easy, though. The approach will be fraught with issues. Adoptive families should make every effort to avoid, or at the very least, reduce, these problems. These youngsters might continue to experience stress and anxiety even after adoption. The ability to deal with another person could get harder over time. As a result, care and attention must be given and maintained with compassion. Some may need assistance, as was previously noted. The management of the kids and their self-care may require assistance from the caregiver. Support groups are available that can help you or offer guidance on how to develop a good relationship with a foster parent or guardian. Family therapy has its advantages as well. Parents work together to develop strategies for helping children overcome adversity. The children must receive proper care and have the ability to manage on their own. It’s important to have positive interactions with other members of the community. Long-term success is influenced by all of these elements. All of these components might never be present in an adopted family. But children gain when parents make an effort to set a positive example.
By Mehreen Bano